I walk through life with a sense of meaning, joy and fulfilment and help my clients to do the same. No matter how foggy or stormy it gets I learned how to get back into flow and keep it up.
But it wasn’t always like this. For a long time it felt like I am standing behind the glass wall and watching others play, party, enjoy life, fall in love, get married, and travel the world.
The only thing I knew for sure that if I worked hard, became independent, strong, responsible, lived by the rules and did everything right, always helped others but never asked for help, I’d be OK. Nobody ever mentioned such thing as being happy. For some strange reason, I thought that I was a good team player but not creative. I thought that I was clever but not beautiful. I dreamed of a prince who would come and rescue me from all of this. But he wasn’t coming. So I had to do it all by myself again and again.
Being a good girl and a good student took me pretty far; from a tiny town in Russia to Stockholm in Sweden. Through scholarships and university work I landed in a new universe and was prepared to start living my life afresh.
And that universe was shaken and shuttered when after a couple of years I found myself terrified, helpless and hopeless in the sticky mud of the custody court for my 1.5-year-old son. I couldn’t believe that it was happening, that what I thought was romantic love turned into a nightmare. Playing by the rules didn’t do any good; neither did rational thinking. My wings were burned. I was stuck and didn’t know what to do.
No wonder, I got sick. In the doctor's waiting room I picked up a book that changed my life. It was a Swedish translation of Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks’ At the Speed of Life where they introduced psychotherapists to their body-centered approach. In Swedish it was called Kroppens Egen Intelligens which means The Body’s Own Intelligence. As my mind couldn’t figure things out I sensed that my body would have some answers.
As soon as I got home I found the book in the university library and read it in one breath. I faithfully did exercises and meditations daily, and then took almost all the Hendricks’ online courses on relationships, conscious communication and dealing with feelings. Things started to shift rapidly.
A long story short, I decided to learn this body-centered coaching method first hand. At that time, it seemed impossible for a single Mom without a job living on a student allowance to go to California to do coaching trainings. But I had to make that leap of faith. I took a small loan, and in January 2014 I was on the plane in the direction of my dreams.
When I got back I started applying principles and techniques to manifesting my dream job. One thing led to another, and, miraculously, I got the position of a PhD student at Uppsala University with no connections or prior experience in the field. After years of knocking on closed doors all it took was to fully show up with my passion and as my best self. I fell in love with research on language use and social interaction. It goes hand in hand with my coaching work as I teach to pay attention to the ways in which we think, speak, move our bodies and express our feelings, and how our experiences transform when we become present with what’s going on.
But my biggest dream of all was to find love. When I went to California to continue my coaching training on conscious relationships, I met Shems, an amazing coach and qigong teacher from Hawaii. I knew that I had to clear lots of emotional baggage in the area of love. I also felt that I couldn’t do it on my own. I decided to put aside some money from my salary as a gift to myself to have one coaching session a month with Shems. Almost a year we worked together, and I was totally committed to creating a loving relationship in my life.
Then I took another leap. I traveled to the other side of the world, to the magical island of Maui for a private retreat. Some people thought that I was crazy. I think that I was blessed. One day Shems took me to some special place in the mountains and asked to visualize the man who I would love to meet. I closed my eyes but couldn’t visualize anybody as I just couldn't believe that love was possible for me. Then the image came: a round table in the garden on a beautiful summer day, children’s laughter and a family gathering for lunch. That moment I knew it would be my life and my family in ten years.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait ten years. Three weeks after I met Daniel, a truly amazing man with a genius spark and a generous heart. In five months he invited me to come to Portugal for his cousin’s wedding and to meet his family.
The first thing that I saw when I arrived at Daniel’s place was the round table in the garden! Soon we were married and got two beautiful babies.
Thriving in my marriage and work, a dedicated Mom of three amazing children, living in two beautiful countries, I witness how these coaching principles and tools reliably work every day and bring miraculous transformations in our life. Some may call it luck. I assure you that it’s our own power and willingness to learn and go for the gold. I’ve come to see that most of the things that I believed about myself, other people, relationships, work and the world were not true. We just need to wake up and make a choice to fully express ourselves and thrive - and the way will appear.
So if you think it’s time for a change in the direction of your dreams -
let’s meet in my programs and coaching space.
Be well and blossom!
Feel for Wellness helps strong, independent professional women move beyond overwhelm and overthinking, maintain harmony and balance, manifest their most cherished goals and dreams, and move gracefully through life's transitions and challenges.
Sigtuna, Sweden & Tomar, Portugal